1. Your husband picks a brownie crumb off the top of your tummy-table.

2. Your belly keeps bumping into the kitchen counter edges.

3. People can tell when you’ve been doing dishes because of the wet line across your shirt front.

4. When you’re sitting cross-legged on the floor and lean forward you can’t figure out what weird thing is touching your legs, until you look down and realize it’s YOU.

5. You’ve been pillow shopping at least once and now sleep with a pillow between your legs, another one under an arm, one or two under the head, and a spare pillow on the floor beside you, just in case.

6. Turning over at night is as complicated as a three-point turn: Shift from side to back; catch breath, then shift from back to other side; readjust pillows.

7. You get jealous when you see your husband asleep at night, lying on his stomach.

8. A worn path appears in your carpet leading from the side of your bed to the toilet.

9. You get your best reading or TV watching done between the hours of 2 and 4 in the morning.

10. When you try to tighten your abs nothing responds.

11. Sometimes you feel like your wardrobe choices are frump or super-frump.

12. You won’t turn down someone’s offer to help you up from a sitting position.

13. You see your belly button from a whole new angle.

14. You don’t see much below the belly button.

15. You wish your shower had a chair so you could shave your legs more effectively and without losing your balance.

16. The bathtub becomes your favorite new place to hang out.

17. You start looking at your existing kid(s) thinking they’re all grown up, and where did the time go?

18. You start eyeing up newborn sized onesies and sleepers with feet.

19. Your life becomes defined by the week instead of by the day.

20. Time has never gone so slowly, nor moved so fast.

Just come to our kitchen. Floor. And help yourself. Wesley did.

Welcome to our home.

Wes likes Chapstick. Namely, to eat it. He gets that it has something to do with the lips, but whenever I get Chapstick back from him it’s usually half empty with teeth marks.

Wes and I have been touring homes in the county Parade of Homes. There was this one house with a nifty built-in playroom decorated like a French cafe with a real working lantern. Wes liked the door that was just his size and, even better, the light switch that he didn’t have to stretch to reach.

PICNIC

A couple weeks ago Wes and I spent the morning at my sister’s house and we had a gourmet picnic lunch in the backyard.

My sister made us PB&J (and a special microwave toasted cheese sandwich for Wes) with diced peaches and string cheese. The wet marks on Wesley’s shorts are from the peaches he was eating.

Wes likes to get a reaction from animals by waving things in front of them. He does this a lot with our cats at home. It makes him giggle. Here he is trying to get a rise out of Casper the Horse, but I think Casper assumes Wes is giving him a snack.

We had a fun picnic, and afterward Wes fell asleep in the car about two minutes after he was buckled in.

CARPET and TILE SHOPPING

We’ve been shopping around for carpet and tile for our basement. Wes is a big help (NOT), so sometimes the majority of my time browsing is actually spent keeping Wes out of trouble. At one store they had a room full of sample books that kept him happy.

And a toy car he was semi-interested in.

We haven’t decided on carpet yet, but we picked out some great Italian porcelain tile that’s on closeout and a terrific deal. We also think we’ve found some slate for the kitchen and fireplace. On Monday the tiling starts!

CANDY CANDY CANDY

Wes doesn’t like a lot of candy, but he likes M&M’s. It’s the only candy he’ll ask for. The other day he saw the bag of M&M’s out and asked for some by making a sound and trying to sign something. I realized I didn’t know the sign for “candy,” so I looked it up and taught it to him. Here he is showing off his new skill. And yes, now he asks for candy ALL the time–breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and in between.