Lately I’ve noticed that sometimes when the TV is on Wes is watching it. The first time I saw his eyes trained on the TV was when I was following an aerobics workout. Wes was lying on the floor, supposed to be playing with his play gym above his head, but instead he had twisted his body around so he could watch the aerobics instructors dance around.

Then the other day I was watching some show while feeding him, and when he finished I sat him on my lap and saw that his eyes were glued to the telly. I don’t even know what I was watching, but when I saw him watching too I turned the channel to KBYU to an educational animated show. Cartoon animals were singing songs about words, and Wes was riveted. Given that he’s only five months old, should this concern me? On the other hand, I wonder if the visual stimulation is actually good for him. Any thoughts out there?

Here are some things Wes is up to these days:

1. Sucking on his hands a lot, specifically the thumb and first knuckle on his right hand. Binkie days are behind him.

2. Standing up on his feet with support. He seems to prefer standing to sitting. This is how he spends sacrament meeting at church, standing on my lap and looking at everyone around him. I’ve been told that such determination and strength to stand up is unusual for a five-month-old with DS.

3. Trying new foods! So far he’s had rice cereal, bananas, pears, sweet potatoes, peas, carrots, and diluted apple juice. He loved the apple juice, sucking it down as fast as he could. The worst reaction so far was with his first taste of sweet potatoes, when he made a face and started to whimper. I waited a few days and tried them again, and he did better the second time.

4. Bouncing and swinging. Our friends lent us a bouncy swing that hangs in a doorway. It’s terrific because it forces him to hold his head up by himself like a big boy, and we can give him a toy to hold and focus on while he’s sitting there. I think his therapist will be pleased; he’s doing so much better every week with neck strength, focus, and interest in the world. He lasts about five minutes at a time in the swing right now, but I expect that will improve as he gets stronger.

Tonight Wes wore his first-ever 3 month size outfit. I was looking at his unworn 3 month clothes hanging in the closet and thinking how big they look next to his newborn and 0-3 month clothes. But then I took a gander at the 3 month tags, and they say they fit babies up to 24 inches and 12.5 lbs. (!) I’m pretty sure Wes is right around there, somewhere. So I quickly pulled one out and put it on him to see if it was too late. Of course it’s not; I mean, even though the kid is five months old, he can still fit in newborn clothes (although they’re getting snug), and his 0-3 month clothes are still plenty loose.

Here’s a picture of Wes taken October 11 when he was a whopping four weeks old. He’s wearing a preemie outift on the left.

Here he is today, 22 weeks old, in the same outfit from the above photo, size 3 months. Look how he’s grown!

Today I had a meeting with the social security office to see about getting Wesley social security disability income. Wesley passed with flying colors. Turns out that Down syndrome qualifies him automatically.

His parents, however, didn’t pass. Turns out that good things like having cars paid off, working towards owning your own home, investing money in stocks and bonds, having 401K accounts, and earning more than minimum wage–things that the government wants every American to achieve–makes it impossible for Wes to receive disability income. He has to wait until either 1) John’s company flops and we end up on the streets or 2) he turns 18 and is suddenly suppposed to be self-sufficient.

One of my friends told me recently how her friend’s dad was trying to put her through college by working two jobs but was still struggling to make ends meet. So he sought help from the government. The government official told him there was nothing available to help him unless he made less money. The official’s advice? Quit both jobs and go on welfare. Now how’s that for working toward the American dream?

The other day I decided by George, I was going to cook dinner. Like, actually cook dinner. Not just reheat something.

You cooks out there may be scoffing, but this was major for me. One of my goals since becoming a full-time domestic engineer has been to, well, become domestic. I’ve always fixed dinner for the two of us, but more often than not that entails simple actions like boiling hot dogs, toasting cheese on bread, pulling a pizza from its plastic wrapper and popping it in the oven. Simple stuff.

So the other day I selected a recipe from a cookbook and planned to make it. I was going to make corn bacon chowder. I went to the grocery store and bought supplies we normally don’t have lying around, like onions and potatoes and garlic, and that night I went to work. I started slicing and sauteeing at 5 p.m. I realized I didn’t really know how to slice an onion. Then I realized I didn’t know how to choose the right size cutting board, because the stuff I cut up kept spilling over the edge before I was done. And it turns out I’m completely clueless about garlic. Well, I got everything in the pot in the right amounts and simmering away. The baby woke up in the middle of this and I had to put dinner on hold while I fed and changed him. Then I put him in the Baby Bjorn while I finished putting the soup together and pureeing it all in the blender. By the time the chowder was ready to eat it was past 7:30! I was worn out and starving. Then came the cleanup that, in between tending the little guy, took until 9:45.

My question to all you real cooks out there is this: IS IT WORTH IT? I got to the end of the day and seriously asked myself what I had been thinking when I opened my cookbook and set out for the grocery store. The worst thing was, after all that work, John didn’t even care for the chowder all that much. I liked it, though, and had lots of leftovers for days. But I still wonder if cooking’s worth it. Am I aiming too high? Does anyone have any good or bad stories about cooking for their family?