Have you made your resolution to lose weight yet? If not, why wait? Everyone’s doing it! Jump on the bandwagon! And if you’re not sure you can do it alone, and your wallet is bottomless, then look no further than your local grocery ads, which are loaded this week with all sorts of health and diet products.

Here’s my favorite ad so far, from yesterday’s Smith’s Food and Drug flyer:

Fifty precent off of Lean Cuisine! Low fat, controlled calories, good taste.

Now look more closely.

What do you get when you buy twelve Lean Cuisines?

Yep. That’s right. Two half-gallons of ice cream. A gallon of sweet cream, fat, and sugar to top off your healthy Lean Cuisine diet lunch.

Granted, the ad mentions that you can get Dreyer’s yogurt or Sorbet.

But what does the ad show? Dreyer’s Grand Chocolate Ice Cream. The motherload temptation for all dieters.

Good one, Smith’s.

I have to admit—sly (or maybe just naive) as your ad tactics are, they work.

You’ve got my business coming.

Logan Michael Holt, born December 7, 2005, at 1:56 p.m. in Salt Lake City.

(Note: Sadly, this child is not my own; but he’s a pretty darn cute nephew. That’s my brother Josh–a.ka. new proud dad–holding Logan.)

Most mornings when I come downstairs Kyra, our cat who lives in the basement, hears me and meows to be let up into the first floor. This morning when I was gathering together my things for work I heard Kyra like usual, but her mewing was louder and more frequent than normal.

When I go to the basement each morning to feed her, she’s usually waiting with her nose pressed against the basement door, ready to run out into first-floor freedom when that door opens. Today she wasn’t there. I walked downstairs and called to her. She mewed in response, but I couldn’t see her.

Our basement is unfinished but framed for a family room, two bedrooms, and a bathroom. Last night when I fed her I noticed she was sitting in some of the framework, about two feet off the ground. No big deal.

This morning I followed her mewling to the back of the basement and looked up. There she was, perched on a two-by-four near the ceiling. I have no idea how she got up there. I stood and looked for any conceivable stepping points to where she ended up, and I saw none.

I’ve heard of cats getting stuck in trees and not being able to get down (which is, in fact, featured in The Incredibles). But I’ve never seen it for myself.

I dragged over something I could stand on and pulled her down. Immediately she started purring.

If Kyra were a person, I’d tell her, “Let this be a lesson to you, young lady. Never climb higher than you can safely descend yourself.” In fact, I did tell her that. But Kyra’s a cat, and cats have a very short term memory. At least our cat does. I won’t be surprised if I have to rescue her again tomorrow.

(P.S. The picture above is not actually our cat, but a representation of her. The look in this cat’s eyes is pretty close to Kyra’s this morning….)

Dear Freshman Hilary,

By the way, attending the game with a group of shirtless (and, I’m sorry to say, extremely unmuscular) freshman boys with BYU painted on their chests does not make you True Blue, especially when neither they nor you are in the seats assigned on your tickets. Here’s a little tip for husband-hunting: don’t hang with guys who argue with the people who say you’re in their seats and then argue again with security when they come to make you move over and then grumble for the rest of the game about how stupid everyone is. You may also want to try watching the game a little more instead of talking on your cell phone and posing in pictures with your friends. I mean, that IS why you stood on the bench seat in front of me, wasn’t it? To see the game? Or was it to show off your hair? (more…)