Because what are beds for?

What happens when ice cream becomes paint and Mom’s not around.

Carissa trying to jump rope in a toy store.

Warm weather means no pants!

Letter Soup. Carissa is a master chef.

The cutie Elizabeth is four months old and getting quite good at many things like holding her head up, gnawing on her fingers, and I even caught her rolling over once from tummy to back. We’re not sure but think she may be getting a tooth. She is still the sweetest baby girl we’ve ever met. We count her as a great blessing every day.

Wes likes to hold his baby sister. When he hears her cry he’ll go up to her and replace her binkie, or play with her feet and say endearing things like, “Oh goodness!”

Well, this was Carissa’s doing.

Carissa painting with water on the backyard shed. Those are leaves in her hair. The rocks in the water table are Wesley’s.

Miss Happy Face.

Carissa’s favorite place to be.

Oh, dear. We lost our kids again today. We’ve had a few scary times when Wes has been missing, including from our own backyard and from a hotel in London, England. It is never a good feeling to realize your kids are gone.

Today I have a cold and everyone was in bed. I was going to lie down, too. If the kids woke up before me I didn’t want them to go into the baby’s room while she slept (as they sometimes do) and either wake her up (as they sometimes do) or pile blankets on top of her (as they sometimes do), so I went downstairs and took the child-proof doorknob cover off the door leading to the garage to put on the baby’s room door. It gave me peace of mind to know the baby was safe, so I could rest.

I actually never fell asleep, but what I didn’t know is that my two kids never fell asleep either. I just thought, “Gosh, they’re being quiet” as I lay in my bed in the room next door. After about a half hour I went to check on things and discovered 1) no kids in bed, 2) the baby’s door room was open (baby was safe), 3) the kids were nowhere in the house, and 4) the door to the garage was open AND the garage door was open. Escape opportunity.

Cue the panic, cue the “what-if” thoughts, cue the worst-scenario images racing through head. John was home so I called to him and we ran out in search.

I called a neighbor who kindly interrupted her day to take her two little boys out and help look too. I ran toward the park that’s a block away, John was a bit ahead of me, and I arrived in time to see him walking back home with both kids in his arms.

Relief.

Carissa was crying because she had two owies on her foot (no shoes, either of them). It seems like they exited our house and followed our side-street in the less-busy direction (thankfully; the road right by our house is very busy). My neighbor who was helping look said she thought she noticed a “trail of Wes” in the form of her lawn decorations pulled out and strewn across the grass. That kinda sounds like Wes. So at least they probably weren’t near a very busy road, and once they saw the park, obviously they went there. It’s probably a good thing Carissa hurt her foot because it made her sit down and cry, and Wes stayed near her.

Disaster averted. Each got a stern talking to about how they are not allowed out of the house without Mommy or Daddy. I think Carissa understood. I don’t think Wesley gets it. It’s hard to tell.

So. We get another day with these guys.

This month my parents came to visit. We had lunch with them one afternoon at Sizzler. When the kids saw the ice cream machine it was like they had hit the jackpot.

Wes and Carissa had been asking to go back to the car wash ever since I first took them in November, just before Elizabeth was born. I never took them before because I thought it would scare them (Wes is sensitive to loud noises). Turns out I was wrong! I acted all excited and so now they think it’s cool. So I took them again. In spite of the semi-scared faces, they enjoyed it.

Carissa lassoing a wild shoe.

Elizabeth sleeping. She is three months now. She is a good, happy baby. I don’t really keep track of her hours sleeping, but it seems like sometimes she’ll take one good, long nap during the day that lasts 3+ hours. At night she’ll fall asleep between 9:30 and 11:30 and I usually only have to get up with her once in the night, around 4-5 am. I keep a portable DVD player in her room, and I have watched many, MANY movies in the last three months. Her hair is thin and delicate and kind of balding in the back. I feel a little bad because she had cradle cap, and I gave her head a good scrub, and now she’s kind of balding in front too. I hope it grows back before long! She really is a good baby and smiles often. She has been healthy, and we feel lucky to have her.

I don’t have a picture of this, but we just noticed that Wes is getting another tooth. He’s 5 1/2. His teeth have come in at weird times and in weird orders, which is normal for kids with Down syndrome. His first tooth didn’t come in until 19 months. One of his canines (I think) never came in, and the dentist wasn’t sure it every would. Maybe it didn’t exist. But, it’s coming in now! I don’t know that there’s even room for it. I should maybe take him to the dentist again. Joy, oh, joy.

Two and a half weeks ago I somehow summoned up enough courage to start potty training again. In August I worked on it with both Wes (almost 5) and Carissa (almost 2). I gave up after 2 weeks. It was EXHAUSTING. Neither kid was willing enough to cooperate, and I needed a break. So this time I’ve just been focusing on one kid. One day I showed Carissa her little basket of underwear (Dora and Hello Kitty, of course) and told her she could wear it if she used the potty. So she ran right into the bathroom and went, and put the underwear on.

John and I visited Walmart and bought a few books and toys we could use as incentives. I’ve been trying different things to see what works. We keep a sticker chart where if she goes 5 times without an accident she gets a package of fruit snacks. If she has an accident we take the stickers off and start again. During the first couple of days I thought she’d never earn anything. But then she did. After that we set it up so if she went 10 times without an accident she earned a toy (or “present,” as she calls it): a Dora the Explorer book that plays music. I really thought she’d never make it. But then she did. And she went on to earn another 10 stickers and get a second book.

I was frustrated because I would have to ask her all the time if she needed to go potty and basically had to make her go and sit every hour. My neighbor told me that her 2-year-old boy who was potty training tells her when he has to go. Carissa wasn’t doing this. I asked her how she got her son to do that, and she said the magic was in the mini-marshmallow he got for telling her he needed to go. I invested in a package of colored mini-marshmallows. She gets one (PINK, naturally) if she tells me she has to go, and another one for going. We would practice: “Now what do you say?” “I hafta go potty, pwease!” I wondered if she would get it, and after a few days, she got really good at it. Now I don’t worry about her having accidents during the day. She’s pretty good at recognizing her need to go and coming to get me when she does. I’m really proud of her progress!

We’re still working on the nighttime. She wants to wear underwear to bed but she doesn’t always make it through the night. I get a little tired of the laundry, and changing her and her sheets in the middle of the night when I’m tired.

The other thing we’re working on is poop. She wasn’t being so successful at using the potty for that, and didn’t seem to care, so I made a separate sticker chart for it. If she went poop in the potty just two times without an accident, she would get a really awesome present: A family of ponies. I had originally pulled out a little ambulance that makes noise, which she seemed keen on, but no progress was happening. So then I showed her the pony toy. Whether by accident or because she wanted it enough, she got her two stickers and earned her present. She was so thrilled! She ran and told Daddy and then we sat down together to open it. She was all smiles as she combed the pony’s hair. It came with a mommy pony and two baby ones, plus a comb, mirror, hair clips, and a battery-operated hair dryer. She plays with it all the time. It was so rewarding to see her earn something that made her so happy.

Next I’ll have to work with Wes. I think he’s probably capable of being potty trained, but I’ll have to find the right incentives for him because it is so much easier to just use a diaper. And he doesn’t really care about wearing underwear like Carissa does. But it’s nice for now to have one less kid in diapers. Two is nicer than three.

On February 3, John gave baby Elizabeth her name and blessing in church.

My mom and dad came from Iowa, my older brother from Oregon, and my little brother and cousin from Provo. Elizabeth was a sweet angel and slept through the experience. The blessing John gave her was beautiful and full of many wonderful promises. I look forward to watching her grow in confidence and beauty all her life long.

That evening we visited my sister, where all three of my siblings were gathered.

Carissa found her cousins’ fairy wings and tea set and was pretty much in girly heaven. Just where she belongs.

This year marks our 11th Valentine’s Day together. Our first one was on separate continents, and John sent me a gorgeous bouquet of flowers. Today we celebrated together with our three kids by going out for breakfast at Cracker Barrel.

We sat by the fireplace, which was cozy and could almost be considered romantic if we weren’t taking turns coloring on the kids menus with Wes and Carissa and cutting the kids’ food. Still, we enjoyed breakfast. The kids and I had chocolate milk.

Elizabeth slept the whole time, almost.

We got three and four of us in a photo by the fireplace to remember the morning.

I love Wes and Carissa in this photo.

Cracker Barrel has a country store in front that brought out a whole new side of Carissa: the shopaholic within.

She enjoyed playing with the little Easter rabbits that moved and danced, and touching virtually everything the store. In the end I had to pick her up and carry her out whilst mid-tantrum. In the parking lot I suggested she pick out a rock for her and Wes to take home. That calmed her down right quick and she was happy.

Later in the day I took Wes and Carissa to a chocolate store to get the one thing I really wanted: a slice of frozen cheesecake dipped in chocolate. It’s pretty much heaven.

When we got home I discovered the other thing I really like about Valentine’s Day: my flowers. And this after our conversation in the car about how overpriced flowers are on V-day! Nonetheless, I won’t turn down fresh flowers with baby’s breath.

My due date was November 15. I used to think November would never come. And then, as it crept closer, I couldn’t believe it was actually so near.

Around 36 weeks things started to get more uncomfortable, and I began looking forward to not being pregnant anymore. I’d be able to sleep (and still breathe) in any position, not just on my left side (which made my shoulder ache). I’d be able to lay to rest my awful compression stockings that I had to wear to keep pain in check from my many, horrible varicose veins. I could pack away my maternity clothes!

But, still, having the baby seemed far off. On Monday, November 5th John and I went to Wesley’s school to visit the transitional kindergarten classroom. This is his last year of preschool, and we need to decide what type of classroom will be the best fit for him next year–regular kindergarten (which has 1 teacher to 20 kids, and high expectations) or transitional (which has 1 teacher and 3 aides, and is a special ed environment, so slower paced). As we drove together in the car we talked about the baby and I said, “I have no inkling of having a baby today.”

Which was true. I never saw it coming. That night around 11 pm I got ready for bed as usual and wrote in my journal, but my back was hurting. After a little while I called John upstairs to sit with me because it was so uncomfortable. Eventually he pulled up an app on his tablet that timed contractions. It turns out they were about 12 minutes apart. And soon they were 7 minutes apart. Then 5, then 4. Around 1:30 am John called our neighbor and asked her to come sleep on the couch so we could go to the hospital.

I had been dreading this labor and delivery experience because having Carissa was difficult. It left me feeling traumatized and scared to go through it again. This time John and I decided I would try an epidural and see how it went without the accompanying pain.

So as we drove to the hospital (with a towel on the seat beneath me, which John kindly gave me in case my water broke in his car), I felt surprisingly calm. The labor pains hurt, but I knew how to breathe through them, and I knew that in a bit I would have the epidural to help.

We arrived sometime after 2 am and got the paperwork started for my stay. I ordered the epidural right away. First they hooked me up to an IV to get a bag of saline solution into my system. I also had negative memories associated with getting an IV, because during Carissa’s labor the nurse took about a half hour trying to set up my heplock (which I never needed), poking both arms in the midst of heavy, horrible back labor pains before finally getting it in. This time was better.

Getting the epidural made me nervous, I think mostly because I’d never done it before. All in all, it wasn’t a big deal. It took several minutes, but there was only one “Ouch!” moment when I got poked in the back, and then my legs started feeling warm and tingly. I was like, “Hey, what’s going on?” and the epidural guy said that meant it was working, and that the needle was in just the right spot in my back.

And that was the last I felt of my contractions. I’ve had three babies, two without pain medication and one with. After my experience with an epidural, here is what I’ve decided: WHY did I never do this before??

Somehow my labor with Wesley wasn’t so bad. But Carissa’s was terrible. This one probably would have been similar. It was so lovely to not feel the pain anymore.

In fact, it was kind of surreal to be at the hospital, in a bed with a gown on, unable to move my legs (but I would move my feet a little), and to just LIE there. I watched “I Love Lucy” on our portable DVD player for a while. The nurse started by lying me on my left side at 3:30 am, and after an hour she came back and rolled me to the right side. It wasn’t until then, when my view of the room changed and I could see the baby bed set up in the corner, that it registered in my head WHY I was there. To have a baby! Right. So, so different from an active labor experience where you feel everything. Truthfully, so much more pleasant.

Around midnight, long before we left for the hospital, my body started shaking. It’s an effect of the hormones during labor, and I remember having the shakes to some degree during or following my other deliveries. This time I was shaking so strongly that they couldn’t ever get a blood pressure reading from the cuff on my arm because I couldn’t hold my arm still enough. Once the epidural kicked in they transferred the cuff to my calf, and finally it worked.

The first hour of my epidural (about 3:30 to 4:30 am) I couldn’t relax. I was shaking hard, and I was adjusting to the feeling of numbness in my legs. It is a WEIRD feeling to not be able to move your legs. I hate holding still, even when falling asleep at night, so this was hard for me at first. We turned up the thermostat in the room and I asked for some hated blankets, and gradually my shaking improved. Once the shaking lessened, I could relax, and once I relaxed, I could rest. From 4:30 to 5:30 am John and I were able to sleep off and on (a very little, but still). I listened to a book on my mp3 player, and John lay on the couch. For some reason they couldn’t find a spare pillow for him and he had to use our coats.

Nearing 5:30 am, I started to notice mild pressure in my lower back sometimes. I figured things were progressing. At 5:30 am they positioned me back on the left side, and after that I could tell things were really moving along. Three or four times I felt strong, strong pressure deep down that clearly meant the baby was getting in position to come. It was nearly 6 am, and the nursing shifts were about the change. I asked my nurse to call my doctor.

Just after 6 the new nurse waltzed in and said the doctor’s instructions were to “progress all the way and then call him.” I told her it felt serious and asked her to check me. She did, and promptly called out to the hallway for someone to call my doctor and tell him to come NOW. I was at a 4 when I arrived at the hospital around 2:30, at a 6 when I got my epidural around 3:30, still at a 6 at 4:30, then about an 8 or 9 at 5:30. At 6:05 my water still hadn’t broken but the bag of water was basically hanging out. The nurse told me to relax and keep my legs closed (hello, epidural, they weren’t moving).

Then people started shuffling in to prepare for the baby to come. My doctor showed up around 6:15 am and got the party started. I felt a little nervous because, historically for me, pushing has been the hardest part of giving birth. So, so difficult and tiring when I was already completely exhausted from enduring the labor pains. So I asked my doctor what to expect. He said, very calmly, “Well, you’re going to take a few deep breaths, push a little, and then you’re going to have a baby.”

Turns out, that was it exactly. He instructed me to take a deep breath and push. which I tried doing. Then he said next time to push a little deeper down. So I took another breath and tried again. It felt like I was doing nothing, and I asked, “Am I doing this right?” John and the doctor both said, “You’re doing great! There’s the head.” I took a couple more breaths and a couple more pushes, and the baby was born. It was the easiest thing, nearly effortless. I couldn’t believe how much easier that was this time around.

The baby girl was born November 6th at 6:35 am. She weighed 6 lbs 4 oz and was 18.5 inches long. She appeared healthy.

I was in such good spirits that I told John to get out our video camera. He gave me a funny look and said, “Are you sure?” But I felt so happy to have had the baby, to not be pregnant anymore, and to have had it be a positive experience for once. So this is the first baby we have video of during the first minutes of her life.

As soon as I held her I thought she looked different from Carissa as a baby. The longer I held her I more I decided she more resembles Wes as a baby. Her hair color and face shape is more like Wesley’s as a baby.

We had kind neighbors who cared for our older kids while John and I stayed at the hospital that first day. He slept at home with the kids that night, and the next afternoon I came home with our new baby.

We weren’t sure what to name her. We had a first name tentatively chosen, but were completely blank for a middle name. The day after she was born John called me from home and suggested a middle name that he had thought of while trying to fall asleep the night before. It sounded good to me, and it was Irish like my first name is. So we decided on Elizabeth Erin.

She is 11 days old now, and we are impressed by how remarkably CALM she is. She seems just happy to be here. Sometimes we watch to make sure she’s breathing, even when her eyes are open, because she can be so still. She cries when we change her diaper or wakes up hungry, but that’s about it. She seems very sweet, and we adore her. Wes loves to hold her and often says, “I carry you?” which is how he asks to hold her. Carissa is merely fascinated by the baby’s dirty diapers, and is practicing being “soft” with her sister.

And here is Elizabeth, in her first few minutes of life.

Our first day in the hospital together. I watched a lot of HGTV–a special treat for me, who doesn’t have cable at home.

A couple days old.

And now, we have THREE.