The other day I decided by George, I was going to cook dinner. Like, actually cook dinner. Not just reheat something.

You cooks out there may be scoffing, but this was major for me. One of my goals since becoming a full-time domestic engineer has been to, well, become domestic. I’ve always fixed dinner for the two of us, but more often than not that entails simple actions like boiling hot dogs, toasting cheese on bread, pulling a pizza from its plastic wrapper and popping it in the oven. Simple stuff.

So the other day I selected a recipe from a cookbook and planned to make it. I was going to make corn bacon chowder. I went to the grocery store and bought supplies we normally don’t have lying around, like onions and potatoes and garlic, and that night I went to work. I started slicing and sauteeing at 5 p.m. I realized I didn’t really know how to slice an onion. Then I realized I didn’t know how to choose the right size cutting board, because the stuff I cut up kept spilling over the edge before I was done. And it turns out I’m completely clueless about garlic. Well, I got everything in the pot in the right amounts and simmering away. The baby woke up in the middle of this and I had to put dinner on hold while I fed and changed him. Then I put him in the Baby Bjorn while I finished putting the soup together and pureeing it all in the blender. By the time the chowder was ready to eat it was past 7:30! I was worn out and starving. Then came the cleanup that, in between tending the little guy, took until 9:45.

My question to all you real cooks out there is this: IS IT WORTH IT? I got to the end of the day and seriously asked myself what I had been thinking when I opened my cookbook and set out for the grocery store. The worst thing was, after all that work, John didn’t even care for the chowder all that much. I liked it, though, and had lots of leftovers for days. But I still wonder if cooking’s worth it. Am I aiming too high? Does anyone have any good or bad stories about cooking for their family?

I was happy to read a couple different posts by friends who have been mistaken for being younger than they actually are. It’s nice to realize I’m not the only person who gets mistaken for a teenager.

Actual experiences of mine:

1.

Sitting in lobby of building where I worked at BYU during lunch break. Was reading book, probably looked quite scholarly. Was approached by fellow college-aged guy who apparently was taking a break from coaching the youth sports camp just outside. Was asked by said coach in friendly, hey-look-at-me-I’m-such-a-cool-coach-connecting-with-my-kids manner, “So, you coming to the dance tonight?”

Me, grudgingly looking up from book: “What?”

Coach: “The dance, you coming?”

Me, realizing he’s referring to the dance for his 14-year-old junior jocks: “No. Um, I just work here.”

Coach, looking confused, then awkward: “Oh. Right. Heh heh.”

I wanted to add that I was married, a college graduate, and working on my PhD in comparative literature and was tons smarter than him, Mr. Jock Pants. But I didn’t.

2.

On honeymoon, checking into romantic bed and breakfast. Maternal-type innkeeper as she ushered us to our room: “My, you don’t look old enough to be married. I thought you [looking at me] were just a schoolgirl.”

Not exactly what you want to hear on your wedding night.

3.

In orthodontics office, sitting on chair, waiting for the assistants–who, I might add, were younger than me–to start the exam.

In semi-hushed tone, Young Assistant standing two feet behind me to another Young Assistant: “Are her parents here?”

Second YA to first: “What?”

First YA, a little more loudly: “Her parents, are they here?”

Me, turning around in chair: “Hi. I’m an adult.”

Both YA, looking surprised that I could not only hear but talk: “Oops, heh heh.”

4.

In hallway at church last month after blessing our baby in sacrament meeting. Very nice elderly lady stopped me to say, “I had no idea you were old enough to have a baby! I thought you were a Young Woman!”

I was about to point out that even Young Women technically are old enough to have a baby, but decided the church hallway wasn’t an ideal place to detail the birds and the bees to her.

5.

At front door of my house, countless times, talking with salesperson.

Salesperson: “Hi, is your mom home?”

Me: “I assume so.”

[close door]

That’s what I should do, anyway. I mean, how am I supposed to know if my mom’s home? She lives in Iowa for Pete’s sake.

Today I canned. I am a canner. I am one who has canned.

This is a big deal for me. Since becoming a stay-at-home mom I’ve realized that other women my age in my own neighborhood are terrifyingly domestic and know how to use food dehydrators and pressure cookers and can their own produce that they grew and hand-picked in their backyard. Their food storage shelves are lined with glass jars filled with delectable edibles, packaged with love.

I’m not quite there myself, but tonight I did can some wheat and sugar. While I didn’t exactly tend the wheat fields or sugar cane plantations myself, I helped put the lables on the tin cans before someone else dumped the wheat and sugar in for me. That’s close, right?

Our relief society borrowed the canner from the local cannery and ordered the supplies for us, so all we had to do was show up with a check and then assemble and seal the cans ourselves. It took a couple hours, but now we have nearly 100 cans of red wheat, white wheat, and white sugar for our food storage. If something bad were to happen tonight, we could subsist on wheat grits and sugar for six months! Although we might clear our pantry of the Little Debbie’s first.

I recall one day during my former life as a desk-job employee driving somewhere during my lunch break and suddenly taking in all the cars and people, everywhere, around me. Now that I don’t spend 40+ hours a week anymore sitting at a desk I’ve realized that stuff exists outside the four walls of the office. It’s amazing. People are out during the day. They get groceries while it’s still light outside. They go to the library. They weed their gardens (when it’s not winter). They take walks. And now that I’m home more I’m part of this super-secret society that lives while other people are holed up in their offices. It’s great!

The flip side is daytime television. There’s a whole other world out there besides prime-time telly. I was watching a show the other day while feeding Wes. The commercials featured were for:

1. Motorized scooter company
2. Hearing aid company (you can try before you buy!)
3. Two different vitamin products
4. Prescription arthritis medication
5. Three different life insurance companies
6. Teaser for upcoming Survivor episode

Any guess as to who the target market audience is for The Price is Right at 9 a.m.? The Survivor teaser threw me, until I remembered that the 80-year-old woman I visit teach is a die-hard Survivor fan and would leave the television on while we gave her the lesson. So there you go.

You know it’s about time you cleaned out the fridge when you find a cream cheese container marked, “Best if used by April 23, 2005.”

1. That my baby sleeps through the night. He’s been doing it since he was about three months old. It is the Best. Thing. EVER.

Possibly his sleeping-through-the-night success could be attributed to this book and my efforts at establishing a general eating/sleeping pattern.

2. My new KitchenAid Professional Series 600 stand mixer (Christmas gift from John)

and the bread that’s so easy to make with it.

3. The Baby Bjorn, which makes possible doing certain things, like making and eating dinner, whilst the baby thinks he’s being bounced and cuddled. And sometimes he even falls asleep in it.

4. Special K Chocolatey Delight cereal. Whoever thought to put chocolate pieces in breakfast cereal and then market it to women as a weight-loss tool was genius. GENIUS. I could eat this stuff for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

5. The Devil’s Trail Mix. I made this for the first time for a work function years ago, and I can’t remember how I came up with the recipe. It’s called the Devil’s Trail Mix because it’s not as healthy as real trail mix but you can’t help eating lots of it anyway.

Here’s what you put in it:

Bite-size Nutter Butter cookies
Bite-size Teddy Grahams
Bite-size Chips Ahoy cookies
Peanut M&Ms
Reeses Pieces
Cereal, such as Special K Chocolatey Delight or Reeses Peanut Butter Puffs
Chocolate chips
Peanut butter chips
Peanuts

Mix all together in large bowl. Either eat as is, or microwave for two minutes or until chocolate chips and peanut butter chips melt enough to slightly coat all the cookie goodness. Cool and enjoy.