Today I had a meeting with the social security office to see about getting Wesley social security disability income. Wesley passed with flying colors. Turns out that Down syndrome qualifies him automatically.

His parents, however, didn’t pass. Turns out that good things like having cars paid off, working towards owning your own home, investing money in stocks and bonds, having 401K accounts, and earning more than minimum wage–things that the government wants every American to achieve–makes it impossible for Wes to receive disability income. He has to wait until either 1) John’s company flops and we end up on the streets or 2) he turns 18 and is suddenly suppposed to be self-sufficient.

One of my friends told me recently how her friend’s dad was trying to put her through college by working two jobs but was still struggling to make ends meet. So he sought help from the government. The government official told him there was nothing available to help him unless he made less money. The official’s advice? Quit both jobs and go on welfare. Now how’s that for working toward the American dream?

I recall one day during my former life as a desk-job employee driving somewhere during my lunch break and suddenly taking in all the cars and people, everywhere, around me. Now that I don’t spend 40+ hours a week anymore sitting at a desk I’ve realized that stuff exists outside the four walls of the office. It’s amazing. People are out during the day. They get groceries while it’s still light outside. They go to the library. They weed their gardens (when it’s not winter). They take walks. And now that I’m home more I’m part of this super-secret society that lives while other people are holed up in their offices. It’s great!

The flip side is daytime television. There’s a whole other world out there besides prime-time telly. I was watching a show the other day while feeding Wes. The commercials featured were for:

1. Motorized scooter company
2. Hearing aid company (you can try before you buy!)
3. Two different vitamin products
4. Prescription arthritis medication
5. Three different life insurance companies
6. Teaser for upcoming Survivor episode

Any guess as to who the target market audience is for The Price is Right at 9 a.m.? The Survivor teaser threw me, until I remembered that the 80-year-old woman I visit teach is a die-hard Survivor fan and would leave the television on while we gave her the lesson. So there you go.

This week John and I were remembering how difficult that first day was after Wes was born. The words “Down syndrome” were big and scary then. But now we both agree that it’s not a big deal, not like it was then.

The first day of our child’s life was harder for us than for other parents of healthy children because what immediately followed the words “Down syndrome” was a long list of the medical risks associated with DS and the physical and mental challenges that one extra chromosome would bring to our child. It was scary–a laundry list of everything that could go wrong.

Can you imagine what the birth day of every normal child would be like if doctors rountinely confronted the parents shortly after the delivery like this:

“I’ve looked over your baby and I’m sorry to tell you that he may get sick four times a year and throw up in his bed. Very possibly he’ll be bullied in the playground and come home crying and with bruises. He may wake up with nightmares that you can’t console. He might have dyslexia and hate to read. Possibly he’ll be enormously shy and have trouble making friends. He may have a terrible temper and break things. Statistics show he’ll try cigarettes and alcohol and may become addicted. Likely he’ll cheat on some tests. He might get in a car wreck and be seriously injured. Don’t be suprised if he lies to you rather than tell you where he’s been. Worse-case scenario: he becomes a drug addict, fathers several children that he beats, and shoots himself in the head before he’s thirty. Oh, and by the way, congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby boy.”

I’ve said it before but it’s worth saying again: Every child will have some problems during his life. With Down syndrome, it’s a little more intimidating up front because the possibilities of what could go wrong with him are spelled out pretty frankly. But like with any kid and any situation, you have to expect the best. And with Wesley, we try.

1. That my baby sleeps through the night. He’s been doing it since he was about three months old. It is the Best. Thing. EVER.

Possibly his sleeping-through-the-night success could be attributed to this book and my efforts at establishing a general eating/sleeping pattern.

2. My new KitchenAid Professional Series 600 stand mixer (Christmas gift from John)

and the bread that’s so easy to make with it.

3. The Baby Bjorn, which makes possible doing certain things, like making and eating dinner, whilst the baby thinks he’s being bounced and cuddled. And sometimes he even falls asleep in it.

4. Special K Chocolatey Delight cereal. Whoever thought to put chocolate pieces in breakfast cereal and then market it to women as a weight-loss tool was genius. GENIUS. I could eat this stuff for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

5. The Devil’s Trail Mix. I made this for the first time for a work function years ago, and I can’t remember how I came up with the recipe. It’s called the Devil’s Trail Mix because it’s not as healthy as real trail mix but you can’t help eating lots of it anyway.

Here’s what you put in it:

Bite-size Nutter Butter cookies
Bite-size Teddy Grahams
Bite-size Chips Ahoy cookies
Peanut M&Ms
Reeses Pieces
Cereal, such as Special K Chocolatey Delight or Reeses Peanut Butter Puffs
Chocolate chips
Peanut butter chips
Peanuts

Mix all together in large bowl. Either eat as is, or microwave for two minutes or until chocolate chips and peanut butter chips melt enough to slightly coat all the cookie goodness. Cool and enjoy.