1. Instead of getting current top-40 songs stuck in your head, you find yourself humming the most popular tune in your own house–the one on the Fisher Price musical caterpillar: “Five little ladybugs meet for lunch, five little ladybugs munch and crunch. One, two, three, four, FIVE!”

2. When you get undressed at night you discover a used burp cloth between your t-shirt and sweater layers.

3. You can do anything one-handed.

4. When you’re shopping alone and you hear a baby cry you look around for your own baby, even though you know he’s at home with Dad.

5. Another person can throw up on you, pee on you, and sneeze in your face, and it doesn’t even faze you.

6. Sometimes you call another adult for no reason other than to talk to another adult.

7. Diaper coupons are equivalent to gold.

8. It feels weird to drive the car by yourself with no one in the backseat.

9. Showering is as luxurious as visiting a day spa in terms of being alone and smelling nice afterward.

10. You shop for a stroller with the same intensity as you would a new car, and look for all the same features: maximum storage capacity, best maneuverability, most cup holders.