Today was a good day for a few reasons.

1. I fit into my first pair of non-maternity pants. It’s a little snug, but I’m happy to have at least one non-maternity clothes option.

2. Carissa’s umbilical cord fell off. She now officially has a belly button.

3. We took our first family outing. As we pulled out of the driveway I realized we had four persons in the car. FOUR.

The outing was fun. We celebrated the momentous event by getting lunch at In-N-Out. We hadn’t been there yet (except for once in California). The burgers were cheap yet delicious.

Then we went to CostCo and spent too much, as always. But the very best thing we got there (in my opinion) was the $1.50 waffle cone hand-scooped with three flavors of gelato: mixed berry, pistachio, and vanilla with chocolate chunks.

Oh. My. Good. Heavens.

The place was jam packed with people (Saturday afternoon), so John took our goods out to the car while I waited in line. It was totally worth the wait. And the buck-fifty. Wes and I sat outside in the shade and shared the cone. He liked it. I liked it. We came home very happy.

Today Carissa is thirteen days old. If she were Wesley, yesterday would have been the day we were allowed to bring her home from the hospital.

Our birth experience this time was vastly different from Wesley’s. Both labors were about the same length (eight hours), and I delivered both babies without pain medication like I planned.

My labor with Wesley wasn’t too bad, but I had a hard recovery. This was because I had high blood pressure during labor, and to prevent seizures I was given an IV with magnesium sulfate. “Mag” (as the nurses call it) is rough stuff. It’s a smooth muscle relaxer that has lousy side effects. I was bleeding too heavily, my uterus wasn’t contracting, my speech slurred, I couldn’t sit up in bed without passing out… I was basically totally out of it. When they handed Wes to me after he was born I was too exhausted to hold him or even care much. A few hours later, John and I were dealing with the surprise news that Wes has Down syndrome. It’s not a big deal now, three years later, but at the time we were devastated. With all this together, I remember lying flat on my back in bed and wondering if I was going to get through it. You’re supposed to be on the mag for 24 hours following delivery, but because I was handling it so poorly my OB took me off it after just 12. And once I was off it, what a change! Things got better from there. I could start to enjoy being a new mom.

With Carissa, it was a little bit the opposite. The labor was the hardest physical work I’ve even done (and hope to ever do), but once she was out things were OK. I didn’t have high blood pressure with her, which was a relief. With both babies my back hurt during labor; the difference was that with Wesley, it was manageable, but the back labor with Carissa was indescribably painful. It overwhelmed everything. I had prepared for labor and delivery with breathing techniques that helped me through Wesley’s birth. Breathing and relaxing takes a giant bite out of the discomfort of uterine contractions. But it does nothing for back pain.

I often wondered during those eight hours how I was going to get through it. I was so tired, and tired of the pain. The nurses reminded me to stay in the moment, focus on each contraction, and then relax, and don’t worry about what’s coming next. (Which is good advice.) I often thought how much easier it would be with some pain medication. But I knew what I wanted deep down, so I pressed through it. I was so grateful John was there. And I quickly saw that switching from an OB to the midwives (which I had done around 33 weeks) was a brilliant decision. My midwife stayed with me for nearly all my labor. AND she helped with pain management by pressing on my hips and legs during contractions to help quell the back pain. She showed John how to do this, but (and though I love him) John didn’t have the same knack for it as she did. But John was indispensable; he kept telling me what a good job I was doing, and even though I didn’t believe him, it kept me going.

After a while it became clear that the baby’s head was presenting at a weird angle. It was drawing out the labor and probably also causing that ridiculous back pain. Again, I was grateful for the midwife and supportive nurses who instead of offering intervention like forceps or a vacuum suggested different positions to help with things. They did suggest breaking my water but left it completely up to me whether I chose to or not. We discussed the pros and cons and in the end I decided to do it, and I don’t regret it.

At what felt like long, long last I was ready for pushing. I have heard (and seen videos) of women giving birth where the baby just kind of falls out without them having to push or bear down, and maybe someday that will be my privilege, but so far that hasn’t been the case. I think that pushing is about the hardest part of baby delivery. You are so ready to be done. It is such hard effort to push and make your pushes effective.

But at the same time, it is the best part. This time, perhaps because I wasn’t doped out on magnesium sulfate, I could fully appreciate my baby being born. John would tell me what a good job I was doing, and that I was almost there, almost done, that he could see the top of the head, and just a little bit more.

The very best part of the whole day was the moment the baby slipped all the way out and the midwife placed her on my tummy. All the pain, all the struggle, was gone. In their place was total relief. And awe. To finally see the little person that had been growing inside my belly for the last 40 weeks… Sometimes I didn’t think there really was a baby in there, yet here she was. I was amazed by how calm she was, lying on my tummy. Her eyes were open and she was alert but relaxed, as if being born and taking her first breaths of air was no big deal. She was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.

The hardest part was over. The better part was beginning. Without the mag or any other drugs in my system I was alert and able to watch the nurses bathe and measure her. I got to pick out the little bow for her hair. Sometime during my labor dinner had been brought in, and now I got to eat. Talk about a welcome meal. Two hours after she was born I was able to stand and walk.

My mom and dad happened to arrive in town an hour or two before Carissa was born, and my mom came by to visit. We moved to my recovery room, and 24 hours later, we checked out of the hospital.

Wes was born with a long list of medical risks, and he came home from the hospital with an oxygen tank and sleep apnea monitor. The only thing we had to watch with Carissa was her bilyrubin numbers (for jaundice). I took her to the hospital three times to be tested, but eventually the numbers came down on their own without needing light therapy.

Carissa is doing well, and so are we.

Carissa Rose
who entered the world with a head full of dark hair on Sunday, August 15th 2010 at 7:11 p.m
weighing 7 lbs. 9 oz. and measuring 19.5 inches long

Mom and Baby
are as healthy as can be expected and are both adjusting to their new roles together

The Family
is now four

PICNIC

A couple weeks ago Wes and I spent the morning at my sister’s house and we had a gourmet picnic lunch in the backyard.

My sister made us PB&J (and a special microwave toasted cheese sandwich for Wes) with diced peaches and string cheese. The wet marks on Wesley’s shorts are from the peaches he was eating.

Wes likes to get a reaction from animals by waving things in front of them. He does this a lot with our cats at home. It makes him giggle. Here he is trying to get a rise out of Casper the Horse, but I think Casper assumes Wes is giving him a snack.

We had a fun picnic, and afterward Wes fell asleep in the car about two minutes after he was buckled in.

CARPET and TILE SHOPPING

We’ve been shopping around for carpet and tile for our basement. Wes is a big help (NOT), so sometimes the majority of my time browsing is actually spent keeping Wes out of trouble. At one store they had a room full of sample books that kept him happy.

And a toy car he was semi-interested in.

We haven’t decided on carpet yet, but we picked out some great Italian porcelain tile that’s on closeout and a terrific deal. We also think we’ve found some slate for the kitchen and fireplace. On Monday the tiling starts!

CANDY CANDY CANDY

Wes doesn’t like a lot of candy, but he likes M&M’s. It’s the only candy he’ll ask for. The other day he saw the bag of M&M’s out and asked for some by making a sound and trying to sign something. I realized I didn’t know the sign for “candy,” so I looked it up and taught it to him. Here he is showing off his new skill. And yes, now he asks for candy ALL the time–breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and in between.

DAY 1

We got up before 7 to catch our 7:15 a.m. shuttle to the airport. Normally getting up at 6:30 is a luxury, but it was painfully hard this day because we stayed up so late the night before getting things ready to go. Even Wes didn’t want to get up when he had to. His first word of the day was, “No!”

At the airport we checked into JetBlue, juggling three pieces of luggage, two carry-on bags, a car seat, a stroller, and Wesley. We managed. We had plenty of time until boarding, which was good, because for some reason when we hit the security clearance Wes had a meltdown. Still not sure why. He was so upset he was shaking, and we weren’t sure if he was suddenly sick or what. We pulled our stuff off the conveyor belt and stood to the side for a few minutes. He was still upset, but we decided to just get through security, so we did. It took longer, though, because I had forgotten to remove all our digital equipment from our bags along with the food/milk we brought for Wes (silly me, how could I have forgotten that with a baby soaking my shirt through with tears?). All the baby food and milk we brought for Wes had to be tested for Nitrate residue to make sure we weren’t packing explosives. And then, finally, we got through.

John got Wes to fall asleep while we waited to board. He slept through take-off and half the flight. He looked so tiny, buckled into the huge airplane seat, slumped against John’s side.

While he slept I got to watch home and garden TV shows and John watched sports programming on the nifty JetBlue TV sets built into the seat backs.

When Wes woke up he ate some pretzels, and then the stewardess brought around snacks (hurray for an airline that still feeds you!). Luckily for Wes they offered a Doritos Munchies Cheese Fix snack that included all his favorites: pretzels, Cheetos, chips, etc. Wes is a sucker for Cheetos.

As soon as we got off the plane I took a breath in and, man, California smells so GOOD! It smells warm and slightly humid and clean, like the ocean. It felt good to be in warm weather again.

I took Wes to the bathroom to change his pants. Literally. He was dry upon boarding the plane, but by the time we got off his pants were soaked through. We didn’t have his luggage yet, so he got to hang out in just a shirt and diaper for a while.

John’s mom came and got us and took us to San Pedro (just southwest of Long beach) to the Cabrillo Marine Aquarium.

We picked it because it’s small, low-key, and cheap. Bonus: It’s right on the beach and after we walked through the aquarium John and I took Wes for a walk on the beach–his first experience walking on sand. He liked to kick it.

The thing about being in LA is you never know when you’re going to get a piece of Hollywood. There was actually a film crew on the beach, and after we finished at the aquarium we saw them wheeling all their equipment off the sand. We learned they had been filming a commercial for Nickelodeon. And on our way to lunch we passed another film crew in downtown San Pedro; it looked like they were filming a stunt between some buildings.

We ate in a little seaside village (shopping/eating area) in San Pedro called Ports o’ Call. We sat on the patio overlooking the marina. We saw tugboats and bigger boats passing by, plus several helicopters flying overhead. Wes was asleep again, so we got to eat about half of our meal in peace. The weather was so beautiful in California, I enjoyed just being outside and breathing it all in. It’s very pleasant and peaceful–when you’re not stuck in traffic.

Which is what we were on our way back to north LA after lunch. It took us a good 2-2 1/2 hours to get home, but at least it was scenic. We drove along Highway 1 (Pacific Coast Highway) through Santa Monica, right along the ocean, for a while, and then we headed east through Topanga Canyon, which is a long winding road through the mountains. It was beautiful, but I was tired and eventually fell asleep. Wes, meanwhile, was awake but perfectly content in the carseat in back.

When we got to the hotel Wes was ready to be let loose.

At night we met John’s step-dad for dinner at The Commons, which is a nice European-style shopping and restaurant center across the street from our hotel. I liked our hotel because it had a mini-fridge and microwave where we could store and heat up Wesley’s milk bottles. John’s mom took me to Ralph’s, a nice grocery store also in The Commons, so I could get Wes’s milk and snacks to last us a few days. By the time we finished dinner we were all so tired and slept well through the night.

DAY 2

This morning Wes woke up around 7:15, and once we were showered and clean we headed downstairs for our continental breakfast in the lobby. They had everything we needed! Maple and brown sugar oatmeal and Yoplait yogurt for Wes, plus bagels and hot chocolate for me and eggs and ham for John.

We spent the afternoon at The Getty. It’s full of amazing famous artwork, but of course all I have photos of is Wesley charging up and down one of the grassy hills outside.

Wes also found a bug to examine.

We had an amazing lunch at a surprisingly nice cafe inside the Getty. Wes ate cheese pizza (cheese pizza is a recurring theme throughout our vacation; it’s the one sure-fire thing I can get Wes to eat for lunch or dinner).

We strolled through the gardens, which weren’t really in bloom in March but were pretty anyway.

The Getty overlooks LA.

DAY 3

On Saturday we woke up and walked down the road to the Calabasas Farmer’s Market. Whenever I travel I try to go to the local farmer’s markets. You never know what you’ll see, and it’s free–unless you buy something, which I was totally tempted to do. I have never seen oranges sold with the leaves still attached, or strawberries that were so perfectly red ripe. It made my mouth water.

The market also had stalls of gorgeous locally grown flowers that I lusted after while John reminded me (a few times) that it was essentially impractical to buy flowers for our hotel room when we were checking out the next day. We saw a lot of locals pushing wheeled carts that they filled with fresh spinach leaves, fruits, mushrooms, breads, and flowers before walking back to their homes. I have never wanted to live in California until then.

From there we walked down the road to find a hair cutting place for John. We stopped in at two places to check prices and had to act non-appalled when we were told a men’s haircut started at $30 and $50, respectively. At the third place it was $20 and we went for it. Bonus: The salon had toys in the corner for Wes to play with. Double Bonus: The salon owners were Persian and it happened to be the Persian New Year. They brought in a box of pastries and passed it around. Nothing like a hair cut and free cream puffs!

Next door to the salon was a bakery called SusieCakes where John let me buy two cupcakes all for myself: red velvet and chocolate peanut butter. Yummmmmmmmm.

That evening John’s mom and I took Wes to a park while John and John’s step-dad went to Fry’s Electronic Superstore. Playgrounds in California are bedded with sand instead of woodchips. I took Wes’s shoes and socks off so he could run free. One thing I liked about the playground is that it was full of more diversity than you would ever see in one place in Utah.

It amazes me how much Wes is turning into a real little boy. He’s starting to climb everything and go down slides fearlessly.

That night John’s mom stayed with Wes so John and I could have a date! We went to the mall, got dinner (peanut butter banana smoothie for me, double cheese burger for John, apple pie from McDonald’s for both of us), and saw Avatar in 3-D. This was my first time seeing it, second for John. Oh yeah, movies in Los Angeles cost a fortune: $15.50 per person. But the film was good.