Anyone who knows me knows that I worry about Wesley’s whereabouts. If I can’t see him I can’t be sure he’s safe. Wandering is a common trait associated with Down syndrome (and autism and other cognitive conditions).

When he was a baby and I was first meeting other moms of kids with Down syndrome, I was blown away by all their stories of their kids wandering off and disappearing. Wes was so small that I couldn’t imagine it. I remember distinctly thinking, “Really? Really??”

Yeah, really.

As he’s gotten older we’ve found we need to keep a firm hand on him in public so he doesn’t run off. If we’re in a group of people, such as at a party, it’s easy to lose track of him among so many kids but if I don’t keep a close eye on him he sometimes ends up outside, by himself.

This week he was playing in the backyard by himself. Our yard is fully fenced with a gate that’s always closed and locked. I didn’t worry about him out there. John and I were both just inside, seated at the big window where we could see him. We looked something up online which took our attention away from the window for a few minutes. When we looked back up, Wes was out of sight. I went outside to find him but he wasn’t anywhere in the yard. Since the gate was still shut and locked, it meant he had found a space between the ground and the bottom of the fence and slipped underneath. Which meant he was somewhere by the street, by himself.

We live on a corner, and the street that passes our house is fairly busy. I slipped on shoes and ran out front with John, wondering where Wes would go. There’s a park nearby, so we headed that way. Before we got too far John pointed across the street. There was one of our neighbors, carrying Wesley home. (Which meant that Wes had at some point crossed that busy street by himself.)

The neighbor had been driving by and saw Wes. To me, it seems like such a miracle that out of all the hundreds of people who could have driven past, it was HER. She happens to know our family well and knows my fear of him escaping. Lots of little kids not much older than Wes run up and down the sidewalk along this street by themselves all the time, going to friends’ houses, and just about anyone else who saw Wes out by himself probably would have taken no special notice. But my neighbor knew enough that when she saw Wes she stopped her car, got out, and scooped him up to bring him home.

We’ll always have to watch Wes, even when he’s grown up. Too bad about the backyard; he’ll probably play in it a bit less now.

A couple weeks ago all of Wesley’s dreams came true when he got to hang out for an hour with several members of the BYU Men’s Basketball team. Wes loves basketball.

I loved seeing Wes next to the members of the basketball team because he barely came up past their knee caps.

They did some passing drills. This is practicing the bounce pass.

And, of course, they did a lot of shooting hoops.

Wes is four and a half now. He attends preschool three mornings each week and goes to Primary at church on Sundays, and of course he’s at home a lot with me and Carissa. Presumably he’s learning things in each of his daily environments.

One of the more frustrating things about being Wesley’s mom is that I usually can’t tell what he’s picking up on. For instance, I have serious doubts that anything disciplinary I’m trying to teach him actually soaks in (demonstrated again today when he tossed a book at the light fixture in our bedroom and broke the glass–after about 100+ times of telling him not to do that). Clearly he’s smart and bright, in his own way, but his communication abilities are limited enough to make it hard for me to know what’s really happening inside his head.

I know I can’t really be present in his school or church classrooms to see what they’re teaching him and how he receives it, but it would be nice if I could.

So every now and again I’m a little amazed to find out some things he knows.

This week both kids were testing my patience when I noticed a CD the Primary presidency dropped off that has all the songs the kids are learning this year. I popped it in the CD player and was amazed to find that Wes knows the first song on the CD. It’s called “As a Child of God.” He knows the chorus best of all.

He liked it so much that he wouldn’t let me move on to the next track, so I finally put the player on repeat and he sang and listened to the song over and over again.

I was really impressed. I know Wes likes music, but I had no idea he knew this song.

Today I put in some more CDs from the Signing Time series. It teaches simple signs through music. Wes has been watching Signing Time videos since he was about one year old. He still likes and watches them. John feels like they might not be encouraging verbal communication enough, but I think it’s still a positive experience for him. Especially when I saw him sing along to the songs that he’s heard so many times before. I was impressed that he knew it so well just by listening, without the pictures and visual help from the DVD.

This song is about feelings. I didn’t realize he knew so many signs from the song, and he can basically sing along with it. My favorite one he does is grumpy (“bumpy,” as he says).

I wish I could better understand how his mind works, and also how to help him more. But it is nice once in a while to see that he IS learning and progressing in his own ways.

On Saturdays now I take Wes (and Carissa) to BYU for a special program that connects people with special needs (mostly Down syndrome, as far as I can tell) with BYU athletic teams. This week he met the women’s lacrosse team.

Admittedly, he didn’t care about lacrosse at all. As soon as he walked in he zoned in on the basketballs on the corner, and the girls were fantastic with him. Right away they scooped him up and helped him make baskets. They stood in a circle around him and watched him try (and miss, and miss, and miss), but every time he made a basket they all cheered so loud for him! He was basically in heaven.

I was impressed with the girls on the team; they were all so nice and welcoming and knew Wesley’s name even though I didn’t tell them what it was.

Wes locked himself and Carissa in his room. I convinced him to open the door, and I walked in and found…

Carissa is getting very good at jumping. Especially on beds.

Yesterday I saw Wes put on his shoe all by himself, for the very first time ever. He skipped socks, but who was I to complain?