We started our morning at the dentist. We are grateful to have dental insurance, which we never used to have, and I intend to use it.

Today was maybe the fourth time my kids (the two older ones, anyway) have been to the dentist. The first time was when Wes was about four, and Carissa one or two. It was a total train wreck. Wes had meltdown after meltdown. (Carissa did fine.) After that I stayed away from the dentist and eventually chose a different one to go to. I think I’ve also found my voice as a parent since then, recognizing that for Wesley’s needs I really need to talk to the people who work with him and help them understand and prepare for his challenges curing the visit.

I’m learning that Wes needs consistent exposure to difficult experiences to help him adjust. I have an appointment set for him next month, and every month thereafter, to get him into the dentist and help him get used to being there. As soon as we exit the lobby (fun area) and enter the main part of the dental office (scary area) Wes gets nervous. It’s written all over him. I know it’s because of his previous medical experiences of many kinds (drawing blood, getting x-rays, sleep study, having tonsils looked at, etc. etc. etc.) where because of his unwillingness to do the things he’s asked to do (hold still, open mouth, do this or that) he has been held and forced against his will to do it. Sometimes as a parent you think that’s the only way. The job gets done.

But it has its effects.

So Wes is super nervous and non-compliant at any medical office. Today he did really good overall, but that’s because we didn’t make him sit in the x-ray chair (DEATH! HORRIBLE DEATH!) or even in the chair that leans back where the dentist examines him. He also didn’t get his teeth cleaned. There was a moment when I tried to force him to sit in the lean-back chair for his exam but it was clearly a bad idea and we adjusted. Dr. Ryan just sat next to him and really nicely showed him how he was going to count his teeth. And then Wes complied. And that’s why we’re going back next month too.

Carissa and Elizabeth, on the other hand, did everything they were asked to do. Even Elizabeth! I was shocked that she sat still and obeyed the x-ray tech and didn’t cry or fuss or anything. And the same thing when Dr. Ryan looked at her teeth. No problem at all. And she’s not even 2 yet!

Carissa said she didn’t like the x-rays, which I can understand since she has to hold something in her mouth and it’s kind of big and awkward, but she didn’t cry. The kids all got rewards from the treasure machines at the end and I took them home, relieved.

Until next month.